Love Untested … Tested!
Avanti
I have been a successful war correspondent. It’s difficult to be a woman and yet maintain your professional dignity in what is primarily an occupation dominated by men. Eight years ago, in my mid-forties, I had successfully made use of my contacts to become a free lance journalist and specialized in interviewing celebrities … or let’s say “achievers in today’s world”.
Due to my profession, I had to be away from my husband Avi frequently. He hated it each time I packed for a trip. He had taken early retirement and was happy spending time with a charity. He wanted me to take it easy and shun all travel. I know he meant well and that we needed to spend more time together, but I chose to continue with the path that I had chosen. The children had grown up, I was still getting recognition in the media, so I found no reason to convince myself to “settle down”. Our disagreements had taken me to that point where our wedlock was hanging by a single strand of worn-out affection. Off late Avi had taken to sleep in his study room.
My publishers had decided to publish my selected works in Delhi amongst the who’s who of the society. Avi hated that society crowd and the point in our relationship where we had reached, he told me clearly that he would not travel to Delhi. It was a well publicised event and I was put up in a plush five-star hotel.
After dinner I realized that I was tired and chose to rest on the balcony outside the coffee shop. It was pleasant and the cool breeze soothed me. The coffee shop was high up many stories over the ground and all earthly sounds were at a minimum. After a while I sensed some movement across the lounge chair and saw a tall gentleman approach me. I looked up and he walked in and stood such that light shone on his face. It was Vikram.
The face was a weather beaten, but the eyes were the same. We had met during the skirmishes with Pakistan on the western border. He was at that time a captain in the army. The one month that both of us were together on official duty was enough to make us fall in love. It was war and we could never share a private moment, but we had developed strong feelings and a sense of longing for each other.
A month later, I was asked to cover Kashmir, and on the day of my departure I gave him my visiting card. He promised to meet me or call me on my cell number. The war lasted three months. I waited for his call. It never came. It never came in the past twenty years. Two years after that I was introduced to Avi and we got married. Just before my marriage, I read in the papers, that Vikram had been awarded for his bravery with medals
“Hello”, he started a bit awkwardly, “How are you?”
He was the same Vikram and he was avoiding eye contact.
“Well you can see. I am in front of you.” I retorted.
“Yeah! Its been a long time”, he said.
“Twenty years and three months,” He quipped when I did not respond.
“Strange coincidence. How did you find me?” I asked
“Its not a coincidence,” he continued in the same soft tone, “Your name and picture is there in the advertisement. I thought I should just walk up here and meet you. It took me twenty years and 3 months to find you and I still don’t believe its you!”
His tone was becoming cheerful. He seemed very happy and completely oblivious to the fact that he did not contact me after that one month we spent in the war.
“Can I sit here?” he asked.
I didn’t say anything. He ordered a coffee for us after enquiring with me.
“This is my number. Since you are in town, and if you feel like calling me.” He pushed his visiting card towards me.
“I’ll be leaving tomorrow. Returning back to my husband and children. Do you have a family?” I said.
“Oh yes, two lovely daughters and a wife. She takes good care of us …. And maybe I don’t deserve it.”
“So, what made you come here?” I was in no mood to forgive him.
He lifted his chin and looked at me straight in the eyes, “Maybe we could start something that we left unfinished twenty years ago?”
For a few moments we just looked at each other.
“Maybe if we could reverse the twenty years and had you popped the question, I would have considered. And why after so many years?” I asked.
“Two months after you left, we took up a covert mission inside enemy teritory. It was supposed to be a recce, but it was a failed mission. A grenade was thrown at us and it burst in front me. I was thrown back and lost conciousness. I was told I was in coma for more than two months. When I regained my senses, I found myself in an enemy prison. More than a year later some of us were exchanged as part of the Geneva convention.” He paused to catch his breath.
“But this news was not there in the media.” I expressed.
“The government will never announce that a senior officer has been captured … neither would the enemy accept it. It was almost 2 years after you left that I was handed over to India. Six months after that I was kept at the army base till, I got my clearance. I searched for you but could not locate you. A few years later, I read about you in the papers. After that I got married and started a family.”
He completed his story. With that he moved his hand towards mine.
“Stop Vikram.” He looked at me quizzically. I continued.
“Both of us sought closure for twenty years. The thought of spending remaining life with you is enough for me as an idea. The very fact that you existed, you exist is enough for me, but let’s not try to reverse wheels of time. Sometimes you realise that true love in its absolute form has many purposes in life. It's not actually about only bringing babies into the world. The romance of soulmates, even life or companionship, the love we had in our past unfinished and untested or lost love seems so easy, even so childish that both of us should choose to settle down. But actually, it's the purest love, the real concentrated stuff that we should cherish. True love is about maturing. We should let go with the thought of turning back the cycle of time.”
We spoke the entire night. It was first time in many years, that I had stayed up all night. It was six in the morning by the time he left coffee shop.
When I reached home, Avi was sitting alone at the dining table reading newspapers. Sensing me he looked up and asked, “Hey good to have you back. So how did it go?”
I walked up to him, took his hand in mine.
“It is done now. Forever”
I have been a successful war correspondent. It’s difficult to be a woman and yet maintain your professional dignity in what is primarily an occupation dominated by men. Eight years ago, in my mid-forties, I had successfully made use of my contacts to become a free lance journalist and specialized in interviewing celebrities … or let’s say “achievers in today’s world”.
Due to my profession, I had to be away from my husband Avi frequently. He hated it each time I packed for a trip. He had taken early retirement and was happy spending time with a charity. He wanted me to take it easy and shun all travel. I know he meant well and that we needed to spend more time together, but I chose to continue with the path that I had chosen. The children had grown up, I was still getting recognition in the media, so I found no reason to convince myself to “settle down”. Our disagreements had taken me to that point where our wedlock was hanging by a single strand of worn-out affection. Off late Avi had taken to sleep in his study room.
My publishers had decided to publish my selected works in Delhi amongst the who’s who of the society. Avi hated that society crowd and the point in our relationship where we had reached, he told me clearly that he would not travel to Delhi. It was a well publicised event and I was put up in a plush five-star hotel.
After dinner I realized that I was tired and chose to rest on the balcony outside the coffee shop. It was pleasant and the cool breeze soothed me. The coffee shop was high up many stories over the ground and all earthly sounds were at a minimum. After a while I sensed some movement across the lounge chair and saw a tall gentleman approach me. I looked up and he walked in and stood such that light shone on his face. It was Vikram.
The face was a weather beaten, but the eyes were the same. We had met during the skirmishes with Pakistan on the western border. He was at that time a captain in the army. The one month that both of us were together on official duty was enough to make us fall in love. It was war and we could never share a private moment, but we had developed strong feelings and a sense of longing for each other.
A month later, I was asked to cover Kashmir, and on the day of my departure I gave him my visiting card. He promised to meet me or call me on my cell number. The war lasted three months. I waited for his call. It never came. It never came in the past twenty years. Two years after that I was introduced to Avi and we got married. Just before my marriage, I read in the papers, that Vikram had been awarded for his bravery with medals
“Hello”, he started a bit awkwardly, “How are you?”
He was the same Vikram and he was avoiding eye contact.
“Well you can see. I am in front of you.” I retorted.
“Yeah! Its been a long time”, he said.
“Twenty years and three months,” He quipped when I did not respond.
“Strange coincidence. How did you find me?” I asked
“Its not a coincidence,” he continued in the same soft tone, “Your name and picture is there in the advertisement. I thought I should just walk up here and meet you. It took me twenty years and 3 months to find you and I still don’t believe its you!”
His tone was becoming cheerful. He seemed very happy and completely oblivious to the fact that he did not contact me after that one month we spent in the war.
“Can I sit here?” he asked.
I didn’t say anything. He ordered a coffee for us after enquiring with me.
“This is my number. Since you are in town, and if you feel like calling me.” He pushed his visiting card towards me.
“I’ll be leaving tomorrow. Returning back to my husband and children. Do you have a family?” I said.
“Oh yes, two lovely daughters and a wife. She takes good care of us …. And maybe I don’t deserve it.”
“So, what made you come here?” I was in no mood to forgive him.
He lifted his chin and looked at me straight in the eyes, “Maybe we could start something that we left unfinished twenty years ago?”
For a few moments we just looked at each other.
“Maybe if we could reverse the twenty years and had you popped the question, I would have considered. And why after so many years?” I asked.
“Two months after you left, we took up a covert mission inside enemy teritory. It was supposed to be a recce, but it was a failed mission. A grenade was thrown at us and it burst in front me. I was thrown back and lost conciousness. I was told I was in coma for more than two months. When I regained my senses, I found myself in an enemy prison. More than a year later some of us were exchanged as part of the Geneva convention.” He paused to catch his breath.
“But this news was not there in the media.” I expressed.
“The government will never announce that a senior officer has been captured … neither would the enemy accept it. It was almost 2 years after you left that I was handed over to India. Six months after that I was kept at the army base till, I got my clearance. I searched for you but could not locate you. A few years later, I read about you in the papers. After that I got married and started a family.”
He completed his story. With that he moved his hand towards mine.
“Stop Vikram.” He looked at me quizzically. I continued.
“Both of us sought closure for twenty years. The thought of spending remaining life with you is enough for me as an idea. The very fact that you existed, you exist is enough for me, but let’s not try to reverse wheels of time. Sometimes you realise that true love in its absolute form has many purposes in life. It's not actually about only bringing babies into the world. The romance of soulmates, even life or companionship, the love we had in our past unfinished and untested or lost love seems so easy, even so childish that both of us should choose to settle down. But actually, it's the purest love, the real concentrated stuff that we should cherish. True love is about maturing. We should let go with the thought of turning back the cycle of time.”
We spoke the entire night. It was first time in many years, that I had stayed up all night. It was six in the morning by the time he left coffee shop.
When I reached home, Avi was sitting alone at the dining table reading newspapers. Sensing me he looked up and asked, “Hey good to have you back. So how did it go?”
I walked up to him, took his hand in mine.
“It is done now. Forever”
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