Jokes
Dad to Son : When I beat you, how do you control your anger?
Son: I start cleaning toilet
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush.
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Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga , pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.
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Santa Singh and Banta Singh are walking together
Santa Singh: Yaar mar gaya , meri biwi aur premika dono saath aa rahi hain Banta Singh: Oye kamaal hai, main bhi yehi bol raha tha.
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A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most Unusual funeral procession - a funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog.
Behind him was a queue of 100 men walking in a single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.
He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, And I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral Like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is It?"
The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin? "
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when The dog attacked and killed her also."
An awkward moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first one asks in excitement , "Can I borrow the dog?" The man replied, "Join the queue."
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Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
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Smart sardar!
A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani were arrested for consuming alcohol which is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip by the sheikh.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:“It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.”
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: “Please tie a pillow to my back.”
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: “Please fix two pillows to my back.”
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: “You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your Indian culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!”
“Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,” Sardar replied.“In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.”
“Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.”
The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.“If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.And what is your second wish, ?” the Sheik asked.
Sardar smiled and said, “Tie the Pakistani to my back” !!!
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Son: I start cleaning toilet
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga , pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Singh and Banta Singh are walking together
Santa Singh: Yaar mar gaya , meri biwi aur premika dono saath aa rahi hain Banta Singh: Oye kamaal hai, main bhi yehi bol raha tha.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most Unusual funeral procession - a funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog.
Behind him was a queue of 100 men walking in a single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.
He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, And I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral Like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is It?"
The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin? "
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when The dog attacked and killed her also."
An awkward moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first one asks in excitement , "Can I borrow the dog?" The man replied, "Join the queue."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart sardar!
A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani were arrested for consuming alcohol which is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip by the sheikh.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:“It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.”
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: “Please tie a pillow to my back.”
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: “Please fix two pillows to my back.”
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: “You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your Indian culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!”
“Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,” Sardar replied.“In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.”
“Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.”
The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.“If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.And what is your second wish, ?” the Sheik asked.
Sardar smiled and said, “Tie the Pakistani to my back” !!!
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